How to be a home working mum…

when the odds are stacked against you.

I always enjoy sharing the experiences of home workers here on the blog, and they are often our most popular posts.

I recommend today’s heartfelt guest post by Lisa Barber, who recalls her struggles to become a home working mum. I’m sure lots of you will relate to her story:

Working from home had not been part of the plan.

I’d had two children within the space of 13 months, recently moved house and lost my last remaining parent. I was post-natal, climbing the walls at home and had completely underestimated just how much of my identity had been tied up in going to work.

The promise of a return to an office was the light at the end of the tunnel in many ways. But the reality was quite different. So I set about carving out a different type of existence for myself. One that would help me to feel alive again and allow me to do meaningful work, on my own terms, from the comfort of my own kitchen!

I poured heart, soul and savings into setting up my sales and marketing Kitchen Table Workshops for self-employed people in helping professions. And there were so many moments I didn’t think I’d make it.

How could I be working this hard, for this long, and still not covering my costs? How will I actually function, organize myself, keep the place relatively clean and tidy – never mind keep this venture on track?

I often wondered if the odds were stacked against me, if I was cut out for the home working option after all. Can you relate? But with hindsight, these three core foundations were quietly moving things into position so everything could unfold exactly as it was meant to.

1. Complete clarity
The juggle for a home working mum is hard — being woken up at 2am to soothe a little one back to sleep, getting a couple of hours of work in before sunrise, feeling guilty for dishing up macaroni for the third night in a row, watching the laundry pile reach teetering heights, the frantic moments before the workshop participants arrive.

Without a point to all this, I’d have thrown in the towel long ago. But clarity about my purpose beyond profit has helped me stay motivated when I’m blubbing into the leftover fish fingers before mustering the energy for the bedtime routine.

I’m doing this work because I want small business owners doing work that helps or heals to connect their care with the people who are searching for it.

And I also want to show up as the kind of mum I want to be. Yes, I could choose a less full life. But by being devoted to work that invigorates me, I hope it will inspire my children to do the same. If I’m unfulfilled, unhappy or distracted, I’m doing the family a disservice. I’m a calmer parent, more playful, more positive if I’m honouring my instincts.

2. Laser focus and discipline
I worked tirelessly for months with no return and no clients, paying for childcare for two pre-school children so I could carve out time to get the new idea off the ground.

I self-financed courses to pick up where I’d left off pre-maternity leave and I retrained as a coach and mentor. I took big risks financially. I took big risks professionally.

But when I was working, I was working. That’s not to say I don’t allow myself downtime, I do. But it has no reflection on the number of clients I’m helping. Just because I’m not working for someone or with someone, doesn’t mean I’m not reading, thinking, creating, connecting, speaking, writing or working.

I show up each day at the kitchen table to give my business the focus and attention it deserves. But to make that possible, some stuff has had to shift. Steadfast boundaries are something I’m working on but I’m getting better at saying no to obligation to allow space for things I’m energised by. To allow space to honour what feels right.

3. The smartest ways of spending my time
And the rest has been self-taught. I’ve discovered how to design a kitchen table business that loves me back, that fits in around my household chores and family schedule.

I’ve learned how to attract more clients in ways that are aligned with my values. I’ve found my way, my style. Tested to see what fits, what resonates. I’ve discovered the smartest ways of spending my time.

I’ve found my true home, at home.

As a marketing teacher and business mentor, Lisa Barber helps self-employed people in helping professions to get the sales and marketing bit squared away. To discover how to help more people and bump up revenue in guilt-free ways, check out her programme of Kitchen Table Workshops and join her Roots and Wings community.